A writing prompt from Write on Edge |
and
Blood: - Trifecta
“You have to help me,” she said, “We’re of the same blood.”
Three in the morning and she’d shaken me awake, grinning broadly and asked if I would help her hide a body.
Three in the morning and she’d shaken me awake, grinning broadly and asked if I would help her hide a body.
I’d got used to this
since moving into my grandfather’s house.
She came with the territory it seemed.
She was gorgeous, pale and
entirely insane. At the moment she was
dressed as a combination Girl Guide and Victorian funeral mute. Mute.
I should be so lucky.
“The same blood,” I said, “What does that mean?” I followed
her downstairs. She paused to lick a
landscape painting. Pink cherry blossom vivid and glorious.
“That’s not real,” she said, “Just old oil paints. And we are. Kindred. Kissing cousins” She looked up impishly, her head on one side. “Do you want to kiss me, cousin?”
“No,” I said. “And how can we be… cousins. You’re in my grandfather’s diary. A pain in the backside he said.”
“Oh,” she said, “Does that mean you want to..”
“No,” I said as she clarified her question with an indelicate gesture. “Figure of speech. Means you’re a nuisance.”
“Oh that,” she said, “Suppose so. We’re related through his grandfather. Naughty fellow, Josiah. Stumbled into mother’s grove and had his wicked way with her. Took him weeks to get away. Now help me with this body?”
She’d left it on the floor of the lounge. Small and ugly, limbs twisted, mouth open, staring eyes fixed on the dusty ceiling.
“It was him or me.”
It was a ventriloquist dummy.
It was a ventriloquist dummy.
“Alright,” I said wearily, “I’ll bury it in the garden.”
“Goody,” she said, “face down, with salt in its mouth, or it will come back and haunt me. You. Us. Very bad.”
“Whatever,”
“Goody,” she said, “face down, with salt in its mouth, or it will come back and haunt me. You. Us. Very bad.”
“Whatever,”
I picked up the little wooden and plastic figure. A long groaning breath of freed air rasped
from its mouth and I felt warm blood sticky and foul on my hands beneath its
back.
Face down, I decided, with salt in its mouth. Oh hell yes.
Love the twist, you are so good at this. LM x
ReplyDeleteYou're too kind :D Thank you.
DeleteThe weary humor in this is amazing. Her licking the painting was perfect, imbuing both childlike wonder and total scary crazy. Though I have to agree with the Fae-like lady, ALL ventriloquist dummies should be buried thus, due to the creep factor alone. why risk it!
ReplyDeleteI have to agree - creepy things in general, and the ones that were most commonly available as toys when I was growing up were foul grotesque things with bright orange hair and troll like faces. I'm creeping myself out now, and will stop. *shudders
DeleteHoly cow, you do insane so well. This was so delightfully creepy and funny!
ReplyDeleteThanks Maggie, I have a lot of practise :D
DeleteThis was crazy! (And that's a massive compliment, by the way!)
ReplyDeleteI just love the characters and their dialogue with one another.
Really glad you liked it, thank you
Deleteclever use of the picture prompt! and what a tale! (gulp - I hope) :)
ReplyDeleteThank you - glad you liked it.
DeleteThis was creepy, twisted, funny and fabulous! That last line was great! I'd do whatever it took to keep that thing from haunting me, too :)
ReplyDeleteYou're not kidding. The crazy lady is almost comforting compared to a ventriloquist dummy with a little too much life in it, even when dead.
DeleteOh my god. This is absolutely divine. You are an incredible writer.
ReplyDeleteWow, thanks Megan :D
DeleteOoh, cool! This sort of blood-curdling tale is right up my alley! That would be the alley with the axe murderer lurking in the shadows.
ReplyDeleteAh but that alley leads to such interesting places, it's hard to stay away.
Deletelmfao I. Love. This.
ReplyDelete:D Best review ever, thank you.
DeleteWell now, I have a feeling I have just finished reading this week's winning entry! What a well-written, multi-layered peek into the mind of the insane and in the ripples that this causes in the world of those trying to deal with it. Has there ever been a ventiloquist dummy who wasn't f**ked in the head!? Bury 'em all, I say!
ReplyDeleteThanks Tom - glad you liked it, and I agree entirely about the ventriloquist dummies. They're up to something.
DeleteOh hell yes indeed!
ReplyDeleteThis was insanely good Thomas!!
Thanks Valerie, so glad you liked it.
DeleteThis is really great reading... I really enjoyed the insane the humour and the wickedness in it all..
ReplyDeleteGreat writing, and of course the details of her licking the painting is a classic
Well it looked so tasty, all pink and perfect. Glad you liked the story.
Delete"it was him or me" Well she had no choice then did she? haha this was a romp through crazy town.
ReplyDeleteIt's a fine old town indeed, thanks for commenting.
DeleteLOL ... This is grotesque but so funny too. lol. Great job! I love it.
ReplyDeleteThank you, much appreciated.
DeleteI believe we would call her "bat shit crazy". Love the end. It has just enough weird to be appealing, but not enough to push you away.
ReplyDeleteA pretty accurate diagnosis I would say, but she can't help it, not really. Nor does she want to. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteWow! I loved every line, each character. I am left disappointed that it isn't longer, that there is no novel to sit and devour. :) I hope it does become something longer at some point.
ReplyDeleteReally glad you liked it - it's nothing longer at the moment and I am twitchy about adding another WIP to distract me... but there is an appeal there.
DeleteTerrific! Well-written, great twist, and great 2nd twist. Delightfully creepy someone else said, and I can't improve on that.
ReplyDeleteThanks Steph, really glad you liked it.
DeleteSometimes the Crazy is not so crazy! Love this-your dialogue is inspired, and this read almost like a screenplay.
ReplyDeleteBut you should always circle the body with salt, too. Just in case.
But if they do it right and circle the body with salt, then I can't bring the dummy back in a couple of chapter's time, creeping and limping and desperate to steal someone's voice for itself...
DeleteLove this! Great writing, awesome characters and fabulous blend of crazy and creepy.
ReplyDeleteThanks Suzanne, really glad you liked it
DeleteThis was a wonderfully creepy read. Your female character is deliciously crazy.
ReplyDeleteShe is isn't she? Much appreciated.
DeleteHoly cow, that was awesome. I love everything about this piece, Tom. That girl is whackadoodle, and I'd love to read about six novels of this. Great job. Thank you for sharing this with us.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, I'm really glad you liked it.
DeleteWhat a crazy,loveable piece!Thomas you really are an awesome story teller!
ReplyDeleteThat's the best praise I can imagine - thank you!
DeleteOh hell yes.
ReplyDeleteLOL, thank you.
DeleteOh wow. Seriously creepy ending. I loved it!
ReplyDeleteThanks Victoria, I do enjoy a bit of creepy from time to time.
DeleteAnd by "bit" I mean "lot" and by "from time to time" I mean "constantly"
DeleteI've been lying low. Working too much. Not enough writing. But.
ReplyDeleteI checked the Trifecta post.
And I'm glad I did, this is great. The last line was awesome and then some. LOVE!
Thanks Renee, so glad you liked it
DeleteDelightfully insane!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm delighted you thought so!
DeleteCongratulations on your win! Sooooo well deserved!
ReplyDeleteThanks Maggie, I was and am thrilled to bits
DeleteThat was awesome. I rather like the crazy whimsical lady with just a bit of creepy. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you, much appreciated
DeleteI see why you won face down, oh, I mean hands down. This was outrageously inventive and well crafted. Congratulations.
ReplyDeleteThanks very much - I'm as proud as punch about the win, but more so that people liked my story
DeleteWhat a fun, original, insanely (pun intended)entertaining story. Much deserved accolades. I look forward to reading more from you.
ReplyDeleteThere will be more to come I promise! Thanks for commenting.
DeleteOh, insane and impossible, deadly! And of course, the unexpected bit. Made me laugh out loud, especially the raunchy humor.
ReplyDeleteHi Cameron, sorry I missed your comment till now - really glad you liked this piece.
Delete