Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Metallic Sonatas





The Rapture turned out to be a faulty product recall and we, the remnant, felt as free as mice in a house with only senile felines.  Then the new angels came to play.

The prompt is from Trifecta - 33 words including a palindrome (highlighted).

This is the last prompt Trifecta are running and I was sad to read that the site is closing its doors.  I've not been a member for very long but I've enjoyed responding to the prompts (those strict word counts have really helped me tighten up my prose) and meeting the other members of this great community.   The feedback I've had has been a great encouragement for me to sit down and write, and I've enjoyed reading the work of such a diverse and talented crew.     I'm hoping that I can keep in touch with, and follow the continued work of the rest of you.    To Trifecta and the people behind it - my thanks and gratitude, and best wishes for your future life and works.

38 comments:

  1. Wow

    Well crafted!

    Dark and I like the twist on religion

    Right up my alley

    Ally :)

    @allyatherton

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Ally - glad it hit the right note

      Delete
  2. My favourite so far I think......

    ReplyDelete
  3. New Angels? That line actually caused a shiver. Good job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Renee, shivers = success in my opinion

      Delete
  4. Great take on the prompt and cool palindrome :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Beautiful.. I read this many times over...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Shailaja - and the beauty of a 33 word prompt is that it can be re-read more easily

      Delete
  6. I love the lyrical flow of this, and I wonder what those new angels have in mind. Great work!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I dread to think what their plans are - even the traditional angels had to prefix every meeting with mortals by saying "don't be afraid" - which tells us something I think...

      Delete
  7. faulty product recall - well, I guess I've gotta' give ya' an Amen to that - hehe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've wanted to use that line for a while (and will probably do so again)

      Delete
  8. New angels should be a good thing, right? If Trifecta has to go then, posts like this one will remind us all of how great the writing can be any given week. You have consistently produced stellar work and I am the better for having read your great writing. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future; perhaps atop the Best Seller list!? Best of luck in your future endeavours in a world beyond Trifecta. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Tom, you're far too kind but your words are very much appreciated. I'm hoping to stay in touch with the ex Trifectans as much as I can, it's been a great forum for sharing and meeting.

      Delete
  9. Very clever palindrome, embedded in an intriguing story

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love this--the dystopian neck-wring of religion is icing to the great palindrome. Senile felines. (That's hard for me to type for some reason because I keep hearing "seline feline," ear wanting it to rhyme, I guess.) Some lyrical phrasings here in a compressed piece; I really enjoyed "we, the remnant" (echoes of "we, the people") and "new angels."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Leigh - I do enjoy the discipline of fitting as much as I can into 33 words

      Delete
  11. I am amazed at how perfectly integrated that bizarre palindrome is in this great piece. Kudos, TM!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ooooo. Ominous fun, this one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ominous and fun - I enjoy that combination, thank you.

      Delete
  13. Replies
    1. Thanks Lyssa, I do like to intrigue :D

      Delete
  14. such great work from you , always. A thoughtful piece that was fun and crafted so well I didn't want it to end. The new angels coming to play sounded foreboding but needed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that world will have interesting times to come

      Delete
  15. (Hit enter too soon)
    I won't be leaving, I love reading you and look forward to all the writings of the "Manor" :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's mutual - thanks Kir - you've been a real encouragement to me

      Delete
  16. This is fabulous. Great, wonderful writing from start to finish.

    I'm with you on the strict word count thing - that has really helped me fine-tune my writing. It's a really great exercise, for sure. I hope I don't lose track of you. I love reading your work!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stay in touch, please, I want to maintain contact with as many Trifectans as I can - I've really enjoyed being part of this. Thank you for the feedback

      Delete
  17. Awesome! Complete story in 33 words...that can't be beat. I hope to keep up with your stuff, as I really like the voice and content here. A Rapture gone awry, and the left behind get run of the place? Brilliant. Nice work.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Fantastic, seriously. That ending sentence closes your 33 word tale, but explodes with possibilities for the reader as to what comes next.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Realy appreciate your feedback, thank you!

      Delete
  19. Will you please notify me when you release the sequel and/or the prequel. I'm hooked!

    ReplyDelete