Friday, 2 August 2013

Shades



(a writing prompt from Trifecta)



Slumping, empty, day by day
A life lived bleak in shadow play

The light burns bright but far away
And all is shown in shadow play

When cold night comes shall shadows stay?

40 comments:

  1. *sigh*, I actually sighed at the end of reading this.

    I'd like to think that the shadows always stay, to keep us company, if nothing else.

    TGIF Thomas :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks indeed - though alas it was more a case of ODIM by the time I read this comment :D Still Friday again soon.

      Delete
  2. Sad and real - A life lived bleak in shadow play ... , excellent entry!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I like the "shadow play". I think on cold nights the shadows rest somewhere else, far away.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The shadows are joined by all the ones not strong enough to battle t5he sun at night.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Beautiful and poetic piece!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kind of a dark side to Tyger, Tyger. Lots of layers.
    Nice poem, Marlowe.

    ReplyDelete
  7. "The light burns bright but far away..."

    That line is stunning-as is this entire piece, Thomas!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I like the playful rhyming.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Shadow play is such an evocative phrase and you've used it to great effect in this poem. Really well done!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Nice. The repetition works really well here in such a short piece.
    Laura

    ReplyDelete
  11. I love that you carried the rhyme through all five lines. It added a wonderful rhythm. Nice piece. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you - 33 words is a short space for variety so I went the other way :D

      Delete
  12. I also love the rhyming and repetition.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Someone above used the word "melancholy" to describe this, and that's one of the words that came to my mind when I first read it too--melancholy, elegiac, bleak, but with the tiniest glimmer of hope, however far off it might be. "Shades" is one of my favourites this week.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Beautifully done! Love the rhythm and the pacing. Love the closing line.

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is as lilting and cool and pensive as a full-moon night. Loved it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. This is great. It has a bit of that dark undertone under the playful meter. Thank you for linking up!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Very dark, with an under tow of desperation. I like it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks TMW - that's what I was going for

      Delete