Tuesday, 16 July 2013

Flotsam




A writing prompt from Write on the Edge with the picture above, 
and from Trifecta with the word: CRACK  3a : a narrow break : fissure    
and from Studio30+ with the words Portal and Coalesce


The crack in Context hung before my eyes like a twisted thread of blue lightning, frozen immobile.  It was hair-thin but it shone, and as I walked around it the crack always showed me its same shape as though it was superimposed over the scene and how I viewed the scene was irrelevant.

The door opened and my boss stalked into the chapel.  Hendry was ex military and bad tempered so I got my defence in early.

“Secured the scene, boss,” I told him, “Class Aleph anomaly.  Hasn’t become a full portal yet.”

He paced around the crack glaring.   I opened my mouth to apologise for entering the scene alone but he cut me off with a bark.

“Maryam!”

The third member of our team ran into the room and I smiled just to see her.  Most psionics are a pain in the backside, talking in abstract airy platitudes and vague rambling about auras and feelings.  Maryam was about as airy and vague as a Glock sidearm.

“Boss?”

“Scan close Context.  Make sure nothing’s come through.”

She nodded,  eyes unfocussed and she looked right through me as she turned her head this way and that.   Hendry stooped and picked up some objects from the floor arranging them in front of him.    He was looking thoughtful.

“Nothing’s coalesced boss,” said Maryam walking over to him.  “What are those?”

“Personal effects,” he said quietly.  “Nothing’s come through but it’s taken someone.   I suspected that might be possible.  Reached through and wiped them from existence.”

I stepped up beside her and looked down at the things.  A wallet, some glasses, some tacky mirrored shades, other items.

My wallet.  My glasses.  I recognised all of them.

“But no one was here,” Maryam said.  She picked up the wallet and closed her eyes.  “No psychometric traces.  Nothing.   Nobody ever even held it before.”

Hendry nodded.

“I did,” I said, “Please. I did.”

“Secure the scene,” Hendry told Maryam, “I’ll call for backup.  We need more people.”

36 comments:

  1. Ooooh, I like it! Now. How to get him back....

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    1. That's the trick isn't it? Glad you liked.

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  2. that was excellent - most especially after I got "the Context"

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    1. Naturally, this is Marlowe Manor after all.

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  4. I agree-sad, scary, and cleverly written as always!

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  5. You're fast becoming one of my favorite writers. Things like this: "Maryam was about as airy and vague as a Glock sidearm" really help seal the deal.

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    1. That's really kind of you - and thanks for the feedback.

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  6. Very intriguing! The twist at the end caused me to re-read the story. Wonderfully done!

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  7. I loved it! I really liked how you used the word portal, throwing actual portals into your story. That's what I'm writing about now, too!

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  8. Excellent, this hit every note in a story that I love, not to mention it reminded me of Stargate which is always a bonus. I dug the touch of having him be wiped from existence, that his personal effects didn't even have a resonance of having been held by him. Leaves you unsure if he's a ghost or something even less than that.

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  9. Excellent! Loved The Imagery, The Twist, All Of It.

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  10. This is so well written! Great spooky ending but hope there will be more. Hate it when I'm invisible...

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  11. Eerie ending! I wonder if there's a way back...

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  12. Kick@ss. Need links to previous entries. This rocks.

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  13. Ack, occured to me this may be the beginnig of something. If so, I hope you continue. It stands on its own but I'd love more.

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  14. Oh, this is terrific. Talk about setting the stage, introducing the stakes and making us want more, more, MORE in one great wallop of a scene.

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  15. "Maryam was about as airy and vague as a Glock sidearm."

    Is my favorite line of the week. I loved that we as the reader never know his name, making him somehow even more non-existent.
    Fantastic crafting, as usual.

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  16. I like how, upon a second reading, I noticed that nobody interacted with him. A spooky twist, wondering whether he's there in a corporeal sense.

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  17. You are a magnificent writer. Lovely story.

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  18. Had to read it twice. Really subtle and clever.

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  19. Oh, awful! It took me a moment, almost like The Sixth Sense. Nice job with so few words.

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  20. Oh this is VERY good! Love the twist at the end and you wrapped it into a neat little package.

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  21. I'm not good with subtleties and allegories :) So, he's not really there, right? This is clever.

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  22. What a great 'ghost' story. I have often thought about similar situations happening when I read about people 'vanishing' without a trace. Since he's the narrator, let's hope he is able to figure out a way back!

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  23. Morning Thomas,

    Want to let you know that I have spotlighted "Flotsam" on my weekly feature, Blogs Over Easy. Find it here:
    http://blackandgraylifemusings.blogspot.com/2013/07/can-i-get-gown-with-zipper_20.html

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  24. Ooooh creepy! (in a really good way of course!)

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  25. WOW. I didn't even see it coming. This is so good! Very intriguing, and fun to uncover the little details, right up until the big reveal. Very well written, and awesome job of using all three prompts. I look forward to reading more of your work.
    My response to the prompt: http://www.aliciaaudrey.com/blog/trifectaprompt-crack/

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