Friday, 5 July 2013

Disturbed Night

(A writing prompt from Trifecta:  33 words on any subject)



The noises in the too silent house didn't ever stop.
The sound of his footsteps on paths he never took.
The sound of words he should have said.
No wonder he couldn’t sleep.


44 comments:

  1. no rest for a troubled mind? elegant as ever! LM x

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  2. the WHAT IFs of our lives are the worst blocker to sleep, they keep us and asking the same question..."WHY NOT?"

    this was lyrical and beautiful..."the sounds of words he should have said" , what a gorgeous haunting line.

    I might not sleep thinking of your 33 words.

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    1. Glad you liked it Kir, always happy to haunt :D

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  3. my heart hurts for "him" (and the rest of us who knew exactly what you meant) - well done, as always, Thomas

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    1. Much appreciated, glad you liked it

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  4. Great job capturing what really haunts people. Nice one!

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  5. I like the "what if" overtone but I also like how this can almost be taken as a literal haunting with ghosts and everything (:

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  6. I shuddered. yes, I did.

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  7. Wow, I love this. Wonderfully done!

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  8. A regret-filled sleep is rarely a rest-filled sleep. Spot on portrait of the consequence of "what might have been." :)

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  9. Silence can be deafening sometimes.

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  10. An unquiet mind and a too-silent house. The worst possible combo! Well done! :D

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  11. Wow! This little piece speaks volumes. Regret can certainly keep you up at night. Very nicely done.

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  12. the silence is deafening. I wonder how many of us will rue the words left unspoken. Nicely done!

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    1. The "didn'ts" always cause more regrets than the "dids" -perhaps because the "didn'ts" don't get a chance to go wrong. Thank you.

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  13. silence allows the mind to be loud. excellent 33 words.

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  14. No wonder he couldn't sleep, indeed. Intriguing and evocative--I'm really enjoying my visits to Marlowe Manor.

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    1. Glad you enjoy your visits - there's always a spare room ready (as long as you don't look too closely at the portraits)

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  15. That was intriguing. We always somehow leave out what we really desire and pursue what we think others wud appreciate. And that haunts us.

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  16. Without many words, it hints very well at regret and so many things that could have been.

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  17. very effective...especially when you've been there ...lovely sir.

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  18. That is how it can feel...

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