Friday, 5 July 2013

Disturbed Night

(A writing prompt from Trifecta:  33 words on any subject)



The noises in the too silent house didn't ever stop.
The sound of his footsteps on paths he never took.
The sound of words he should have said.
No wonder he couldn’t sleep.
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42 comments:

  1. Lyssa Medana5 July 2013 at 17:16

    no rest for a troubled mind? elegant as ever! LM x

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  2. Kir5 July 2013 at 17:53

    the WHAT IFs of our lives are the worst blocker to sleep, they keep us and asking the same question..."WHY NOT?"

    this was lyrical and beautiful..."the sounds of words he should have said" , what a gorgeous haunting line.

    I might not sleep thinking of your 33 words.

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    Replies
    1. Unknown8 July 2013 at 08:21

      Glad you liked it Kir, always happy to haunt :D

      Delete
  3. Anonymous5 July 2013 at 18:20

    Niiice! x

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  4. Anonymous5 July 2013 at 19:16

    my heart hurts for "him" (and the rest of us who knew exactly what you meant) - well done, as always, Thomas

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  5. Brian5 July 2013 at 19:51

    Great job capturing what really haunts people. Nice one!

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  6. Draug5 July 2013 at 21:45

    I like the "what if" overtone but I also like how this can almost be taken as a literal haunting with ghosts and everything (:

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  7. Lance5 July 2013 at 21:51

    I shuddered. yes, I did.

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  8. Suzanne5 July 2013 at 22:32

    Wow, I love this. Wonderfully done!

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  9. Anonymous6 July 2013 at 00:39

    haunting thought!

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  10. Thomas Charles MacInnes6 July 2013 at 01:56

    A regret-filled sleep is rarely a rest-filled sleep. Spot on portrait of the consequence of "what might have been." :)

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  11. Tara R.6 July 2013 at 16:31

    Silence can be deafening sometimes.

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  12. Anonymous6 July 2013 at 18:14

    An unquiet mind and a too-silent house. The worst possible combo! Well done! :D

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  13. Ivy (Mommy Dourest)6 July 2013 at 19:45

    Wow! This little piece speaks volumes. Regret can certainly keep you up at night. Very nicely done.

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  14. barbara6 July 2013 at 22:42

    the silence is deafening. I wonder how many of us will rue the words left unspoken. Nicely done!

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    1. Unknown8 July 2013 at 08:25

      The "didn'ts" always cause more regrets than the "dids" -perhaps because the "didn'ts" don't get a chance to go wrong. Thank you.

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  15. Anonymous6 July 2013 at 23:48

    silence allows the mind to be loud. excellent 33 words.

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  16. Unknown7 July 2013 at 04:11

    No wonder he couldn't sleep, indeed. Intriguing and evocative--I'm really enjoying my visits to Marlowe Manor.

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    Replies
    1. Unknown8 July 2013 at 08:25

      Glad you enjoy your visits - there's always a spare room ready (as long as you don't look too closely at the portraits)

      Delete
  17. Sini Rachel7 July 2013 at 19:09

    That was intriguing. We always somehow leave out what we really desire and pursue what we think others wud appreciate. And that haunts us.

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  18. Kristy @Loveandblasphemy7 July 2013 at 23:41

    Without many words, it hints very well at regret and so many things that could have been.

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  19. Anonymous8 July 2013 at 00:30

    very effective...especially when you've been there ...lovely sir.

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  20. brudberg8 July 2013 at 08:09

    That is how it can feel...

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  21. Unknown8 July 2013 at 08:22

    Alas, too true indeed

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  22. Unknown8 July 2013 at 08:24

    Thanks Ted

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