The Watchers on the Wall

An extract from a manuscript discovered in the ruins of Lughdunum in the early 24th century following the great Barcode Wars.  It appears to have been a satirical play, author unknown.

This extract is from Act III of the play and takes place in Adlerstan on the Great Border

Guard 1 (entering):

What news my friend?  The waste beyond the wall?

Guard 2: 

Remains, unchanged. A desolation still.

Guard 1:

This watch is wearisome to me, and is

To each man of renown a burden bleak.

But needful, so they say, our pleasant land

To save and to preserve from evil days.

Guard 2:

What days more evil than those days we have

Could come upon us?

Guard 1:

Soft, and speak no more.

Such words as those are barbed, and pierce and tear,

And risk enough to hear, much less to speak.

There’s men enough to bear a tale for coin

And not for me the prison camp offshore.

Captain (entering):

What ho, what ho, you sturdy men and true

Guard 1:

Captain, good day

Guard 2:

Good day my captain bold.

Captain:

Good day indeed, dear lads, for I have news

Today our watch is brightened from above

For to the wall there comes to see our watch

And I predict on us to praises heap

Our leader, the eternal ruler Trump

Preserved by Art a century and more

Oh glory, glory and such glory thrice

To see our leader, why it’s…

Guard 1:

Very nice?

Oh Captain do we have the right to see

This wondrous Trump, the first of God’s decree

This paragon of triumph and of will?

This golden one?  Oh may he rule us still.

Guard 2:

Your irony is showing friend, back off

Captain:

What did you say my man?

Guard 2:

‘Twas just a cough.

Captain:

Stand to, good men and true, stand to indeed

And every buckle shine and button close

Your halberds and your crossbows polish all

I’ll go escort our leader to the wall

(exit)

Guard 1:

Great God in heaven is this not enough

To insult heap on this injurious toil

To have to smile and fawn on this… on this..

Bewigged, befouled vainglorious old boil!

Guard 2:

Peace, he comes, peace and speak no more your mind

(enter Captain and TRUMP an iron-lung on tracks, a bouffant blond wig blowing on top of it)

Captain:

Hail to the chief, good men, and Hail Indeed

Guard1:

Hail Trump, oh steel encased and mighty one

Guard 2:

Hail Trump, Lord of a time now spent and gone

TRUMP:

GOOD BOYS GOOD BOYS THE JOB YOU DO IS SWELL

TO STAND AND GUARD THIS BORDER WALL OF HELL

FROM TIMES WHEN LIFE WAS SMOOTH I CHOSE OUR FATE

AND AS I SWORE I MADE OUR COUNTRY GRATE

Captain:

Haha, good one, a double meaning there

Guard 1:

Good one my lord

Guard 2:

and is that really hair?

TRUMP:

YOU’RE DOING GREAT.  THAT’S IT I HAVE TO GO

AND RULE SOME MORE THE SHEEPLE DOWN BELOW

SOME GREAT NEW LAWS WILL SHORTLY BE ENACTED

TO SCREW THE [RACIAL EPITHET REDACTED]

AND SOON YOU’LL SEE MY PLAN WILL BE COMPLETED

DAMN THEM [RACIAL EPITHET DELETED]

(he trundles away followed by the Captain)

Narrator:

And so our tale must end this shocking scene

Of futures bleak, that current moods may presage.

And so, your humble narrator I’ve been,

I'm Thomas Marlowe – I endorse this message

(exeunt omnes)

In answer to Studio30Plus' prompt "VAINGLORIOUS"