Friday, 2 August 2013

Shades



(a writing prompt from Trifecta)



Slumping, empty, day by day
A life lived bleak in shadow play

The light burns bright but far away
And all is shown in shadow play

When cold night comes shall shadows stay?
Posted by at
Labels:

39 comments:

  1. Kir2 August 2013 at 17:41

    *sigh*, I actually sighed at the end of reading this.

    I'd like to think that the shadows always stay, to keep us company, if nothing else.

    TGIF Thomas :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown5 August 2013 at 11:46

      Thanks indeed - though alas it was more a case of ODIM by the time I read this comment :D Still Friday again soon.

      Delete
  2. Anonymous2 August 2013 at 17:54

    Very good one!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous2 August 2013 at 18:10

    Sad and real - A life lived bleak in shadow play ... , excellent entry!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous2 August 2013 at 18:27

    I like the "shadow play". I think on cold nights the shadows rest somewhere else, far away.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous2 August 2013 at 18:38

    Oh, yes. They stay.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dobson2 August 2013 at 19:53

    The shadows are joined by all the ones not strong enough to battle t5he sun at night.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous2 August 2013 at 20:35

    lovely melancholy

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ivy2 August 2013 at 21:50

    Beautiful and poetic piece!

    ReplyDelete
  9. kymm2 August 2013 at 22:18

    Kind of a dark side to Tyger, Tyger. Lots of layers.
    Nice poem, Marlowe.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Valerie Boersma3 August 2013 at 00:37

    "The light burns bright but far away..."

    That line is stunning-as is this entire piece, Thomas!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Draug3 August 2013 at 04:19

    I like the playful rhyming.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Forest Bird3 August 2013 at 10:14

    Nice. The repetition works really well here in such a short piece.
    Laura

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous3 August 2013 at 12:49

    I love that you carried the rhyme through all five lines. It added a wonderful rhythm. Nice piece. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown5 August 2013 at 11:52

      Thank you - 33 words is a short space for variety so I went the other way :D

      Delete
  14. Ashley Kagaoan3 August 2013 at 14:57

    I also love the rhyming and repetition.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Unknown4 August 2013 at 05:21

    Someone above used the word "melancholy" to describe this, and that's one of the words that came to my mind when I first read it too--melancholy, elegiac, bleak, but with the tiniest glimmer of hope, however far off it might be. "Shades" is one of my favourites this week.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Suzanne4 August 2013 at 14:15

    Beautifully done! Love the rhythm and the pacing. Love the closing line.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous4 August 2013 at 15:53

    This is as lilting and cool and pensive as a full-moon night. Loved it.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Trifecta4 August 2013 at 23:48

    This is great. It has a bit of that dark undertone under the playful meter. Thank you for linking up!

    ReplyDelete
  19. TMWHickman4 August 2013 at 23:51

    Very dark, with an under tow of desperation. I like it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown5 August 2013 at 11:53

      Thanks TMW - that's what I was going for

      Delete
  20. Unknown5 August 2013 at 11:51

    Thanks Jo-Anne

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)